Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Our Voyage So Far

As we begin a new year it seems appropriate to reflect on our adoption voyage so far. It all really started back in 2010, when we decided our family would not be built through biological children, but through children already in the world who needed a family. We were new to the world of adoption so we began researching our different options: domestic infant adoption, foster care adoption, and international adoption. It did not take us long to decide that international adoption was the best fit for us and where we could do the most good. After researching all of the different adoption programs, we settled on Russia because it was a well- developed, stable program (at the time), where we would be able to bring home a 2- year- old boy after just a one year process. We knew we would not be able to adopt until we paid off a couple loans so for two years we waited and read about the Russian adoption process.

By the time we were financially able to adopt in 2012, we came to the conclusion that Russia would not be a possibility for us due to their insanely expensive adoption fees and multiple required trips. This was a little sad and stressful for us, but it turned out to be a good thing because Russia closed their doors to adoption shortly later. We quickly decided to adopt from Africa because, honestly, it is the cheapest place to adopt from. Even though Congo was a pretty new program, we chose it because it would allow us to bring home a young child in a year and it required only one trip there. Also, we thought if we are going to adopt from Africa, we might as well adopt from the poorest nation in the world. In the spring of 2012 we sent out our applications to our home study and international adoption agencies. Our agonizingly slow home study was the only thing we got accomplished that year.

2013 was a year of short bursts of excitement and progress surrounded by long stretches of discouraging delays, with some fundraising and large adoption fees sprinkled in. In February we accepted Roland's referral and in April our adoption was approved in the Congo court {He was officially considered our son}. In May we received some information that allowed us to hope we would be able to bring Roland home that summer. It was just a slim chance, but I really thought things would work out for us. The situation did not turn out how we hoped. After that crushing disappointment, a lot of my optimism in the process faded away. However, time went by and gradually progress was made. In November, Roland was issued his immigrant visa, the very last step before bringing him home. Unfortunately, this happened during the exit permit suspension so about 75% of our joy and excitement about his visa was sucked away. In the year of 2013 we were able to complete the entire international portion of the adoption. Even though we completed every step, jumped through every hoop, paid every fee, proved ourselves to be fit parents time and again, we are still not allowed to bring our son home. It is a pretty big let down after a long year of praying, paperwork, and waiting.

I started this blog exactly one year ago. As I wrote my first post, I remember feeling disappointed in the lack of progress up until then, but excited to start the new year. To be honest, I am not looking forward to 2014.  It sickens me to think that the adoption is extending into anther year and I predict it will be a year filled with not- overly- hopeful waiting. There will be no paperwork to fill out until Roland's visa expires in May. The exit permit suspension is expected to last until September and there is no certainty as to when children will actually be allowed to leave after that.  There will be absolutely nothing to do except wait and hope that Congo will eventually allow it's adopted children to come home. We're praying 2014 will finally be the year a child will be brought into our lives and Roland will finally have a family.

4 comments:

  1. Interesting that the massive corruption and trafficking of non-orphan Congolese kids didn't phase you. Not did the multiple State Department warnings of an impending shutdown of adoptions dating back to 2011 and 2012 stop you either -- who cares if your refwrral's not actually an orphan? Who cares if you spend upwards of $35k supporting human trafficking in Congo?? Not you. You wanted a healthy young kid and really didn't care how you got him. (Given the Congolese government is presently unable to provide its citizens with clean water and electricity on anything approaching a regular basis, has it occurred to you said government doesn't have the capacity to determine if any given kid is truly an orphan??)

    Buying a child clearly doesn't bother you. You're just sad you couldn't get the kid home.

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  2. Actually the Congo government is not responsible for determining if a child is an orphan. It is the U.S. Embassy that conducts the orphan investigation and they have appropriate resources to do so. The child we are adopting is, in fact, an orphan. I am not supporting human trafficking; I am trying to provide a home and family and future to a child who desperately needs them. If this child does not get adopted, there is a good chance he will die before reaching adulthood. If he does survive, he will face a life of poverty, he may be homeless, he may lead a life of crime or join one of the violent rebel armies. Are any of those scenarios better than him joining a loving family in America? An orphan in the DRC does not have a promising future. Also, I am not "buying a child". I am paying the required adoption fees that cover the necessary steps of the adoption.

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  3. Suuuure. Did you see last night's 48 Hours? It totally demonstrated that ethical adoptions are being conducted in Congo -- NOT!

    And, yes, you're purchasing a human child. It's vile.

    How do you REALLY know the kid is an orphan vs trafficked kid with falsified paperwork? Do you speak French and/or Lingala? Have you conducted an independent investigation or have you chosen to believe what your agency tells you?

    Do you really, truly think the State Dept issues multiple alerts/warnings about corruption in DRC adoptions for fun? As opposed to a GREAT BIG PROBLEM that you're choosing to spend upwards if $35k on???

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  4. KIKI you have no idea & I find your comments rude. Not all agencies are corrupt ... 48 hrs could do numerous shows on the children that were adopted through the proper channels but then you wouldn't enjoy that story ... I suggest you keep your opinions too yourself if you have never walked in another persons shoes. Blessings.

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