We are a Police Family

Matt and I got married when we were 21 years old. He started his career as a police officer a couple months before our wedding so I have essentially been a police officer's wife my whole adult life. Because this is all I have ever known as an adult married woman, I tend to forget that our life and schedules can be a little unusual. While it has just been the two of us all these years, it hasn't been such a big deal- I try to be flexible and have generally adapted to it. I am used to the crazy schedules, eating alone, police gear everywhere, lonely nights, dirty work boots, phone calls in the middle of the night, the disturbing, heartbreaking, and frightening stories and a stressed out overworked husband. However, we will eventually be adding a baby to the mix. Thinking about how all that will work out has made me reflect on the last seven years of our marriage.

For the vast majority of the past seven years, Matt has worked night shift. He goes to work at 5 pm and works until at least 3 am, sometimes until 6 am. I have always been a night owl myself and since I have lived with Matt's schedule for so long, I have (unintentionally) adjusted myself to a more moderate night shift schedule as well. I suppose that will have to change somewhat when we get our baby.

During most of our marriage, Matt has worked every Saturday. I can't remember ever going to an event, party, or festival with my husband on a Saturday. On most Sunday mornings he is asleep or on call. For the past couple of years I have gone to church by myself 90% of the time. I really hope Matt will be able to go church more often in the future since I think it is important for children to see their fathers go to church (even if they are spiritual leaders in other areas).

Matt has been on call most years for Christmas and Thanksgiving. This means we have to turn down invitations to other people's homes, don't want to invite people over, and we spend our holiday meal hoping the phone won't ring. For just the two of us, it is not usually a huge deal, but I truly hope not many future holidays will be ruined for our children because of a call-out. Matt has worked and will always work on New Years Eve, July 4th and Labor Day weekend. I have always missed celebrating those holidays with Matt and I wish in the future he could spend them making memories with his children.

Matt works for a very small police department so whenever another officer is sick or out of town, he has to be on call, sometimes for a week or longer. You have to experience being on call 24 hours a day for days on end to truly appreciate how stressful this is. Even on Matt's weekends (and he is not on call) when we are watching t.v. at night, sometimes we receive a call from dispatch- sometimes by mistake and sometimes because there is no other available officer in the area.

When we first moved to this town, people used to come to our house looking for various police services: to report crimes, complain about tickets, etc. We had to put a sign on our door telling people how inappropriate this was. The sign has helped, surprisingly. We always have to use a little extra caution because there is a chance a disgruntled person will come to our home looking to do us harm. This has happened to other officers and Matt has received threats.

Being married to a police officer isn't all gloom and hardships, though. It is a fairly stable job, compared to some. It is a job that will demonstrate the importance of serving others to our children. Plus, we have a family plan for when the zombies attack (you can never be too prepared).

Some things will have to be adjusted for our future children and some things our children will just have to adjust to. Matt is not just a police officer, we are a Police Family-  the job affects all of us and we are all in it together.